When you look at successful,
confident people, they may look like in full control of their
lives, with freedom from fear. In truth, though, fear
attacks everyone, even the most confident, successful person.
There is no absolute freedom from fear, but there is
freedom from paralyzing fear. This is what successful people
enjoy that others do not.
What is paralyzing fear? It is
a great fear that stops you from doing something to achieve
what you want. For example, a paralyzing fear of rejection can
stop you from asking for that raise or from asking out that
person you like. A paralyzing fear of looking stupid, meanwhile,
may prevent you from asking that seemingly stupid but actually
So what do you do to have freedom
from fear, particularly from paralyzing fear? First, realize
the real definition of fear. Motivational speakers and authors
Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen said fear stands out for
Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real.
You create that negative outcome
in your mind. As an exercise, the two authors recommend you
to complete this sentence: I would really like to _________
and I scare myself by imagining ___________. The key words here
are "scare myself." You create your fear.
To check your fear, ask yourself,
"Logically, what is the worst that could happen?"
It may not be as bad as what you are worrying about. Fear actually
magnifies the negativity of any possible outcome.
Then, imagine the best thing
that could happen. Picture this very vividly in your mind. Ask
yourself, "Is this not worth it for me to take action?"
Canfield and Hansen also advise
taking a new perspective. If you fail, you really have not lost
anything - you are just back where you started. But if you succeed,
think about all the good things that will happen!
In fact, rejection can actually
be a good thing. If you ask for a raise and did not get it,
you are just back at your regular salary. And, if you took the
rejection positively and asked for your boss' feedback on what
you should do to get a raise, you will most likely get it next
time. But if you do not ask, you do not gain anything!
The only way to have freedom
from fear is to not allow yourself to get paralyzed by it.
Focus on the outcome you want and take action!
Michael Lee is the author of the highly acclaimed How
to be a Master Persuasion Wizard. It reveals mind-altering
persuasion secrets and tactics to tremendously enhance your
relationships, boost your career and business, develop rock-solid
self-confidence, and influence anyone to your way of thinking.
If you invest in his book now, you'll automatically be a valued
member of the Persuasion Wizard Master Club. Go to http://www.20daypersuasion.com
for the exciting details.