- Source of Problems and Arguments
By Michael Lee
Individuals of opposing
ideas can stir up conflicts and arguments. It's that situation
when one person thinks he has the right idea while the other one
also believes he has the proper concept. Both of them would try
to outwit and manipulate each other until one is declared the
Here's an actual example.
My girlfriend Riza
would sometimes buy me signature clothing. When my Mom founds
out how much it costs, she would advise us to budget our money
and just buy the affordable ones.
A problem occurs when
Riza thinks that her effort to give me the best was unappreciated.
Mom, on the other hand, would think that Riza is such a spender.
There's a conflict
with their beliefs. No two people are exactly alike. We are totally
unique; not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.
There will be many
times when your idea or opinion will not correspond with that
of another. So how can people prevent misunderstandings from occurring?
is the key to overcome doubts and conflicts. You should let other
people know what's in your mind. Don't keep them guessing. If
you want to influence others, you have to use the proper persuasion
There was a story
about two couples who were filing a divorce. After the lawyer
have spoken to them both, he found out that the root cause of
all their dilemmas was due to miscommunication.
Here's one of the
The man filing the
divorce said that he just hated the meals that his wife often
prepared for him. On the other hand, the wife said that she's
only preparing such foods because she thought he liked them. But
she never liked cooking them because they are not easy to prepare.
See? If only one of
them has the courage to speak out what's in his or her mind, then
that particular problem would be over, and there'll be no need
for any expensive lawsuit.
Now why would people
prefer to keep their emotions and criticisms to themselves? What's
holding them back?
It's because they
do not want to be rejected. Most, people, if not all, would like
to be accepted and to be perceived as likeable in the eyes of
So can you get your
message across without hurting their feelings?
words with positive ones.
Instead of declaring
"You don't understand," say "Let me explain."
Instead of saying "You're wrong," say "Allow me
to clarify." Instead of stating "You failed to say,"
just mention "Perhaps this was not stated."
There are certain
words that affect a person more negatively in comparison with
other words that have the same meaning.
Nothing could be more
pleasant to the ear than hearing someone else say that you are
right. In this case, be prepared to let other people know that
you respect their opinions. You may add your comments at the end,
but acknowledge them first.
Say: You're right,
although ... Terrific suggestion, however ... I agree with your
opinion, however ... I would feel the same way if I were you,
although ... I can imagine how hard it is for you, but ... I understand
your situation, however ...
Reassure them that
the decision made will benefit both parties. People need to feel
that they have made the right choice.
Communication is a
gift. Use it wisely for everyone's advantage.
About the Author:
Michael Lee is the author of How
to be a Red Hot Persuasion Wizard... in 20 days or less,
an ebook that reveals mind-altering persuasion techniques on how
to tremendously enhance your relationships, create unlimited wealth,
and get anything you want...just like magic. Get a sample chapter
and highly-stimulating "Get What You Want" advice at:
He is the Co-Founder of http://www.self-improvement-millionaires.com
and is licensed as a Certified Public Accountant.
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