This article discusses the art
of persuasive argument. If you want to be a good communicator,
you have to learn the art of persuasive argument
and apply it in your everyday communication. First, let me ask
Ever noticed the outcome of an
argument between two people or groups with contradicting views?
Was there really a winner?
If you're on the winning side,
you feel superior, and important. All these feelings suggest
a positive outcome for you. It's as if you're working down on
a guy while he looks up at you. He has this words to mumble
"I'm going to get you next time; you wait and see."
Yes, there's this shallow threat
to win over you once he gets a rematch. Definitely, a rivalry
and a disharmonious relationship will ensue. If the argument
happens in front of other people, the repercussions are far
worst than can be imagined. To most people, being contradicted
and won over in front of other people is a big issue. For obvious
reasons, no person in his right sense can tolerate being contradicted.
It is an embarrassment.
A person forced to submit against
his will stays firm in his belief. So what's the best advice
to a situation that seems to lead to an impending argument?
Welcome an opinion even though
it is the opposite of your own. When two people go into a partnership,
let's say in business, it is normal that disagreements arise.
Actually, it is healthy for business.
Disagreements don't mean that
the partnership will go sour. It's the exchange of ideas that
gives businesses more competitive edges and improvements. Use
disagreements to your advantage. This is especially true to
married couples. Husbands and wives may disagree but they ultimately
find a common ground to make their relationship stronger. It's
like exploring each other, getting to know your partner better.
If you are the temperamental
type, learn to control it. Make every effort to gradually reduce
the intensity until you see substantial improvement. Temper
that is out of control is fueled by anger like a forest wildfire.
This is entirely different from controlled temper that is like
the fire in the fireplace giving warmth at wintertime.
One of the most important character
you can develop to avoid arguments is to be a good listener.
Give your ear a chance to listen first before you let words
come out of your mouth. And when you do have a word or two to
say, try your best to align them in a non-argumentative direction.
Be tactful. Dwell on areas where you think you and the other
party will agree.
Be sincere. If you commit a mistake,
acknowledge and apologize accordingly. Apologizing for mistakes
does not make you a lesser person in terms of importance. On
the contrary, people feel humbled when apologized to. Apologies
bring out the gentle person in you.
Give the other party the benefit
of the doubt in his opinion especially when you doubt your own
opinion as well. Tell the other party you will think over his
ideas. This is better than being told later " I told you
so but you wouldn't listen." This will also give you and
him the chance to evaluate the problem or issue.
When someone takes the time and
the effort to engage in a debate or argument with you, it only
shows that he is also interested in the same things as you do.
That alone is sufficient reason for you to thank him.
Arguments are raised not to be
a source of losing one's face. Arguments are raised so that
we may learn a lesson or two and get better in terms of acquiring
added knowledge. Apply the art of persuasive argument
and earn the respect of others.
Michael Lee is the author of the highly acclaimed How
to be a Red Hot Persuasion Wizard. It reveals mind-altering
persuasion secrets and tactics to tremendously enhance your
relationships, boost your career and business, develop rock-solid
self-confidence, and influence anyone to your way of thinking.
If you invest in his book now, you'll automatically be a valued
member of the Persuasion Wizard Master Club. Go to http://www.20daypersuasion.com
for the exciting details.