Solid Relationships Using the Power of Words
By Michael Lee
We may not be aware
of it; but the words we utter daily may have different interpretations,
even if you think that they mean the same thing. Such words may
either enhance or destroy your relationships with other people.
Here's an example.
Would you rather have
someone tell you that you are "slim," or would you like
to hear that you are "thin?" Being slim has a slightly
positive effect because it is attributed to health and fitness.
Rather than saying
you have failed, just mention that you have not yet achieved success.
Get the picture? Always try to speak words in the most positive
manner you can think of.
Here's another important
Never compare the
negative qualities of one person with another.
A former boss of mine
has this to say to me when I made an error in my previous day
job, "James (not real name) is doing a much better job than
you are. He's not committing any mistake like you do."
That crushed my heart.
My boss thought this would motivate me to do better. Nope, it
just hurt my feelings and lowered my self-esteem. Of course, I
would never make the same mistake again after her harsh scolding.
I've learned my lesson well. But she could have said it nicely.
from discouragement and condemnation will have a negative effect
on the recipient.
Some parents might
believe that instilling fear on their children would improve their
performance. They would say, "You're always failing. Why
can't you be like your brother? You're such a disgrace to this
Now that's not the
proper way to do it. They should inspire, encourage, and motivate
their children; not belittle them even further. Everyone has the
to be unique in his or her own special way.
They should tell their
children that they have the capacity to achieve great things,
if they would only put a little more effort. Teach them values
that would make them feel important and loved.
You may even go as
far as giving them qualities that they do not yet possess. By
giving them confidence and by making them believe that they have
such characteristics, they will eventually acquire such traits.
Tell them how bright you think they are, and you will soon be
surprised at the results. They will significantly improve if you
firmly made them believe that they have the capacity to do so.
So if you ever wanted
to persuade or encourage someone to do better, make sure that
he or she is motivated out of inspiration, and not out of fear.
Give advice that cares, and not offensive words borne out of hatred
or anger. Think first before you speak. Many relationships have
been ruined by the wrong choice of words. Some people voice out
anything that comes to their mind, without first filtering the
good words from the bad ones. This might result in misunderstandings
and arguments, which could have easily been prevented if we speak
out in a way that is neutral and non-offensive. Words are very
powerful indeed. Use them responsibly for the sake of a better
relationship and for the benefit of all.
Michael Lee is the author of How
to be an Expert Persuader, an ebook that reveals mind-altering
persuasion techniques on how to tremendously enhance your relationships,
create unlimited wealth, and get anything you want...just like
magic. Get a sample chapter and highly-stimulating "Get
What You Want" advice at: http://www.20daypersuasion.com.
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