with Assertive Behavior and Body Language By
Many people will
tell you that what bothers them most during conversations is not
the topic, but the attitude of the person they have conversed
with. This predicament ends up to be the reason why friendships
become superficial. As a result, one of you becomes either pushy
or lifeless. Proper assertive behavior and body language, aside
from possessing assertive
communication skills, are therefore necessary in developing
The right attitude
to be able to win friends is to be more assertive. Being assertive
is actually just your ability to stand up for yourself, tackle
issues face to face, state your own personal views, and defend
others when they are being taken advantage of. Contrary to what
you may think, being assertive is very much different from being
bossy and overbearing.
Assertiveness is actually
a good thing. Without it, you inevitably hold back in your career
and your personal life. If you are usually compared to another
one of your co-workers because the two of you have similar levels
of experience and skills, then it is more likely that the more
assertive one is rewarded with the promotion.
It is natural that
some people are more assertive than others; whether you are part
of the former or the latter, it does not matter. What matters
is that you get to learn assertive behavior, which ensures you
are in the path for new opportunities.
For you to be assertive,
you have to keep in mind the effects of positive body language.
It is not difficult, actually. You just need to show the person
you are talking to that you are attentive and that you truly care
about whatever topic it is that you are discussing.
When in a conversation,
you have to do everything you can to maintain eye-to-eye contact.
It is believed that your eyes are the windows to your soul. Therefore,
for you to be able to achieve a heartfelt and productive conversation,
you have to show the other party your undivided attention.
You must not, under
any circumstances, look around while the other person is talking.
You have to always make sure that the person you're talking to
sees that you are truly participating in your conversation by
listening intently, while maintaining eye-to-eye contact.
For you to be able
to further express that you are, in fact, approaching your conversation
with respect and attention, you may lean forward. Leaning forward
is a gesture that shows that you want to hear more and would want
the other party to expound on what he or she has just said.
Of course, leaning
backward is the opposite. It proves that you are only engaging
yourself in the conversation because you have to, and not because
you truly care about what is bothering the other party.
You have to prevent
yourself from being pushy in your newfound relationship. You must
not force your opinions and beliefs on the other party if he or
she radically believes otherwise. Just let things be, accept them
as how they are.
Just be assertive.
Taking the initiative of beginning a conversation, or in stating
your views without pushing them to the other party, is the right
way for a productive and effective conversation. Do not worry
about giving the other party an image that you are overly confident;
for being assertive is not only about being confident, it is also
about understanding other people and the empathy that you give
Indeed, it has been
observed and proven that body language has a huge part when it
comes to being assertive. Body language shows the other party
that you are attentive to what he or she is saying. It is not
all about looking good and speaking for yourself. It is also about
making other people more comfortable when they talk and express
their personal thoughts with you.
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