True Love Online
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Talking To People From
All Over the World
When you join the fun, wild
and wacky world of online dating, chances are high that the
person you meet may be halfway across the globe. You may find
yourself talking to people with different creeds, cultures
and traditions. The language barrier may also come into play
even if the person speaks and writes good English. Some meanings
get lost in translation. That's why it is necessary to watch
what you say so you will know what is and what is not offensive
to them. If you aren't careful, just one word may be the end
of it all. Who knows? That person may be the one for you.
You could lose all your chances for a happier life just because
you said the wrong things. It is important to have an open
Since your form of communication
is the written kind, it is important that you use the right
words all the time. It will also help you to learn how to
make a good impression with what you write; here are some
reminders and tips to help you improve in making good conversation
through the written word.
Whatever method of communication the online dating site uses,
like e-mail or online chatting, what you say is important. You
can always keep it simple. Just saying "hi" and telling
the person that you found his or her profile interesting would
do. Say that you're interested in getting to know him or her better.
something in his or her profile that caught your eye. This shows
that you definitely read it. Tell the person why you found it
interesting and say something about yourself briefly that you
can connect to his or her profile, or something both of you have
example, a man can say, "Hi, My name is Fred. I noticed in
your profile that you like cars. That picture of you with your
black Lexus looked really great! What did you do to make it look
so shiny? I'm into cars myself, I like to spend time tinkering
with them. Maybe we can talk sometime. Until then."
introduction is short, simple and mentions something both the
writer and the addressee have in common. This letter would probably
intrigue the reader to spur him or her into action and reply to
the writer. Then that's it, don't push too much; if the other
party doesn't answer right away, give them the benefit of the
doubt. They may be busy so don't take it as a rejection. However,
you have to be prepared for this. Be patient and just keep on
trying on the next profiles that catch your attention.
they do answer back, then good for you. You can pick your next
topic from their response. If they find that talking about your
opening topic is interesting, then capitalize on that. However,
don't dwell on that particular topic too much; try to pick out
some other topics from their profile as well. Your objective is
to get to know the other person better. Don't hesitate to ask
questions but don't make it too personal at first. Deeper topics
can be reserved after both of you are comfortable with each other.
Questions can keep the conversation going. This also shows that
you are indeed interested in the person.
you're on the receiving side of the message and there are people
sending you messages, you are under no obligation to answer those
that stir something in your gut feeling. If you do not feel comfortable,
or if something feels wrong, do not answer the message. The person
might be out to harm you.
matter how handsome or beautiful the person looks in their photo,
this doesn't mean that they're honest. Also, always notice the
tone of your conversations. If the messages have become too personal
and assertive or sexual innuendos are being inserted that make
you feel uncomfortable, cut off all communications with the other
person right away.
is the great thing about online dating; you can always decide
not to reply to a person and end the communication with them.
You are not required to reply and you don't have to explain why.
If you don't feel comfortable with the person then just stop.
to remember, if it doesn't feel right, stop. Move on. There are
thousands of other members and you will definitely find someone
for you. Always trust your intuition and judgment. If still unsure,
ask your friends' guidance or those that you have met and trust
online who have prior experience with online dating.
- Open-looped and Close-looped
is important to read between the lines. Some people respond to
messages because they are equally interested and some do because
they just want to be polite. If the reply that you received is
somewhat bland and cold, chances are high that he or she is not
interested, especially when the reply doesn't come with a question.
This is known as a closed-looped message.
messages mean that the message seems to be a big period. The person
replying does not ask any questions and seems to be ending the
conversation. It is up to you if you want to pursue it further.
Some people may use close-looped messages to probe or screen other
people. However, if you do write back but the reply is still the
same closed-looped style and it takes a long time for you to receive
an answer, this may mean that they're really not interested and
are just being polite.
the reply is upbeat, and there is a question asking something
about you or your interests, then this may mean that the other
person is willing and interested in pursuing a friendship. If
this happens, then pat yourself on the back for a job well done.
Try to keep it up as much as possible.
sequence can also happen the other way around. If you're not interested,
then you can send a close-looped reply. You're not under obligation
to answer but you can do so to be polite or to soften the blow.
Remember you may choose not to reply if you don't want to but
it still pays to be polite even in cyberspace.
key to having a successful online conversation is showing that
you are truly interested. Doing a little research usually helps.
Know what the likes and dislikes of the other person are. Do some
knowledge-hunting about it. It is not enough to keep on talking
about yourself. In a face-to-face conversation, most people do
not like other people who keep on talking about themselves. They
want to be drawn out of their shells
the person sees that you have devoted some time and effort to
keeping the conversation going, then they may be impressed and
want to talk to you more. This would not be just about mutually
interesting topics but probably other topics that they specifically
like. They're likely to open up some more.
example, if your potential friend is into basketball, you can
try to learn more about some statistics and some players' profiles,
especially about his or her favorite players and teams. By doing
so, you can add more to the conversation and ask intelligent questions.
If you're not really interested in basketball, it's okay, you
can keep the conversation going by asking more questions about
the sport. You can always say you're very curious about the sport
and would like to find out more about it.
don't just stop there; talking about one topic too much can be
very boring. Try to open yourself up bit by bit. If they feel
uncomfortable about the topic, or don't respond well to your questions,
remember to proofread your messages and check for spelling before
sending them. If you are too sloppy and your message is full of
errors, they may think that you are uneducated. They may also
think you're not willing to go the extra mile to make them feel
important. Showing your best side to a person means you want them
to show their best side to you too. Most likely, the person you
are trying to connect with did their best to make people stop
and take interest in their profiles so you should show the same
courtesy as well. This shows respect and people want to be respected.
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