The major blunders in our conversations
are, naturally, the violation of the general principles of communication.
Such include talking about topics that are considered taboo,
talking behind somebody else's back, and basing stories on exaggerations,
or worse, lies.
However, these are not the only
blocks we can stumble on when we engage in conversations with
other people. There are so-called mechanical blunders, as well,
which often result from not thinking seriously about what we
are talking about, carelessness, or not keeping a close eye
on our own conversation techniques.
Below are some of the most common
technical conversation blunders.
Blunder 1: Using pet words regardless
of their suitability to the topic or the situation
There are people who call everything
they like 'fabulous', 'cute', or 'darling', and call things
they don't like 'weird', 'dull', or 'lousy'. There are appropriate
words to describe certain things. A building is not cute; a
movie cannot be ghastly; a book cannot be weird; a restaurant
cannot be a darling. Use words properly. Also, if you are one
of these people who use pet words a lot, try to reduce their
usage to a minimum. Be aware of the things that are coming out
of your mouth. It can be very annoying.
Blunder 2: Using big words inappropriately
You've encountered people like
this already - those who like using superfluous terms and phrases
(probably to make a good impression). There also are those who
seem to enjoy using words like 'basically', 'actually', 'so
to speak', 'you know', etc. Get them out of your system. Not
only are they unnecessary, they're also time and effort wasting.
Blunder 3: Exaggerating
A lot of us are guilty of this.
We tend to introduce our stories with "Let me tell you
about the weirdest thing I've ever experienced" or "This
is the most amazing thing I've ever seen." While these
kinds of statements are subjective and you are entitled to them,
you should also think about the other person in the conversation.
It might not be so for him or her, and by being so, the momentum
you tried to create did not have the effect you were expecting.
Get real.
Blunder 4: Getting too personal
You don't need to dish out all
the dirt about your life just to get attention at a party. People
will naturally listen to you if you make sense, not because
you're giving fodder for gossip. Telling too much about yourself
is like baring your soul to a group of strangers. It's okay
to be real about your feelings, but it's awkward to get too
revealing, because you don't know how other people will react
to your stories. It could lead you to your undoing and you have
no one to blame but yourself.
Blunder 5: Too much slang.
If you're conversing in English,
use proper English. Don't bastardize the language and pepper
it with slang. You can only use slang if the people around you
speak the same way. But if you're in a group with people of
diverse backgrounds and interests, slang is not appropriate.
Speak in a manner that is understood by all to avoid possible
conflict.
Proper style of communication
can enhance your relationships, boost self-esteem, and help
you achieve lifelong success. On the other hand, continuous
use of conversation blunders may hinder you from attaining your
goals; so be very careful and aware of every word coming out
of your mouth.
